


nightmares.

by blueheonies



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:21:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29407578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueheonies/pseuds/blueheonies
Summary: College!Johnjae au where Jaehyun is plagued with multiple realistic nightmares which begin to merge with reality.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Kudos: 6





	nightmares.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤJohnny and Jaehyun have been dating for a couple of years now. Their relationship was a bit rocky at first, because they didn't know how to balance being different year college students and being in a relationship, even though they were in the same dorm. It was hard for them to keep their affection to a bare minimum when out in public, not wanting to draw any kind of unwanted attention to themselves, seeing as neither of them were necessarily out yet to anyone but their friend group. The two had moved out of the dorms and into a neighboring apartment with each other, claiming it as a way to save money, but the guys knew it was to be alone together at the end of the night. There, they could do whatever they wanted; they could walk around naked and share sweet kisses whenever they chose, without having to worry about their group of friends complaining about it. There, Jaehyun could have his nightmares in peace. He hated when he woke up screaming and everyone came running to his dorm room — everyone except Johnny. Now, he was here all the time, kissing him awake and holding him close, whispering comforting words to calm him down.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIt had been a while since Jaehyun had last experienced a nightmare, the pair being able to sleep peacefully for the sum of a month now. There were often nights where the pair simply lied awake in bed, embracing each other while engaging in small talk they couldn't speak upon when in public; it was always simple praises and declarations of love. Other nights, the two thrashed around in bed, limbs flying about wildly as one clung on for dear life so that the other wouldn't cause them to tumble out of the shared bed. Most times, it was Jaehyun who ended up on the cold floor, whereas Johnny was snug in the middle of their bed, hugging the body pillow between his legs. Jaehyun would usually stay down there for the sum of an hour before his body grew unbearably chill and forced him awake, hands slapping down on Johnny's shoulder and arm to wake him up, before pushing him away into his spot and slipping back into place. Other nights, it was Johnny who had been thrown onto the harsh flooring beneath the bed. Those were the nights when Johnny knew that Jaehyun was fighting back a nightmare, his unconscious body trying to seek comfort in Johnny's warmth to settle him, ultimately causing him to slowly push his lover onto their dark coffee-colored hardwood flooring.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIt was those nights Johnny hated the most, simply because it was always a hassle to safely wake the younger. He knew not to shake him awake while half-shouting his name from a previous experience where he had gotten scratched deeply, the scratch being deep enough to draw blood. That method also caused Jaehyun to sink further into the nightmare because it felt like someone was right on top of him, taunting him and telling him they had finally gotten him. That was the one time his nightmare had reduced him to tears and urine, the feeling of both wetting the bed and Johnny kissing his eyelids, waking him. The event alone traumatized the male, causing him to immediately apologize to his boyfriend and tell him he'd handle the mess he had made all while bawling his eyes out, choking up on every other word. Johnny — being the loving boyfriend he is — simply pulled the soaked male close and held him until he calmed, large hands rubbing up and down his back, plump lips peppering kisses down his side profile in an attempt to kiss away the falling tears. It was only when Jaehyun had calmed that Johnny stood and drew him a warm bath, helping the aforementioned to the bathroom and lovingly stripping him down, telling him that he would be okay and that he was there. Upon the younger slipping into his bath, the elder returned to their bedroom and began to strip the bedding and wash it. He then began cleaning the mattress so that the smell wouldn't soak and taint it. He did this as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb his boyfriend that was still trying to relax. The nightmare was still fresh in his mind, as if it were playing whenever he blinked. And so he did. Hesitantly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThe setting was the seemingly abandoned apartment the couple shared, the lighting dark and menacing. There was furniture overturned and cobwebs strung along the place. The house was riddled with darkness, the male not even being able to see his hand directly in front of his face. He could hear the running tap, droplets of water dripping into the sink pan every few seconds, the sound deafening to Jaehyun. It was too quiet for his liking, so the droplets seemed louder than what they had actually been. It was something that would usually go unnoticed for quite a while if life was rustling through the home, but seeing as it was so decrepit, every small thing seemed amplified in Jaehyun’s skull. It was like a sight out of a haunted halloween house. If he were granted light, the male would see the dried blood staining the very walls and coffee colored flooring that was once the couple’s beautiful home. He would see the shattered glass littering the floor throughout the home. He would see the chaos that his once warm home had become. Jaehyun’s slow footsteps inched along the shattered glass, the substance crunching beneath his shoes. ❝ Johnny, ❞ the male called out, his voice seeming weak and worn. Sliding his phone from his pocket, the male flipped on his flashlight, eyes bucking at the distressed home. He didn't know the context behind the scene before him. Did they break up? Did Johnny leave? Were they simply away for too long and had gotten robbed? What was with the blood? It looked like a murder scene. No explanation was clicking inside of his brain, confusion written all over his face as he furrowed his brows. _What the hell is going on?_ he thought. That’s when he moved further into the house, the front door slowly — then loudly — shutting behind him, the lock automatically locking as soon as the door and frame were intact. The sudden loud noise of the door slamming caused an already scared Jaehyun to jump, letting out a small yelp and slapping his hand over his chest to steady himself. _It was just the wind,_ he told himself, cautiously moving about the pitch black, memory guiding him to his destination.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThe male was heading towards their shared bedroom, calling out for his lover once again the closer he got. ❝ Johnny, ❞ he spoke again, this time a little louder. He was met with the sounds of shuffling and groans, the sounds unsettling him. That's when the hallway elongated before his very eyes, the door that was just two steps away now a mile from where he stood. Not even the light from his phone could emit far enough to light the end of the hall. With knitted brows once more, he simply decided to brush it off, continuing his journey. ❝ Johnny, baby, are you in there? Can you please say something? ❞ his husky voice spoke, a hint of sadness and fearfulness in his words. There was no doubt that Jaehyun was growing more and more scared with each step he took. The scene felt all too familiar, yet all too foreign at the same time. He hated it; it worried him. He felt like he was here alone due to the fact that Johnny wouldn't answer . . . but what made those noises? What groaned in response? The noises that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand attention. It was as if something had been dragging across the floorboards, heavy and scraping away. It was the groaning that alerted him that he wasn’t alone in the home, but the feeling of a lingering presence had already told him that. The presence felt as if it were sitting right on his shoulders, back hunched over and face directly in front of his own, eyes staring right into his soul. It had become darker in front of his face, the male waving his hand in front to try to rid himself of it. That’s when the weight was lifted from his shoulders; the sounds of claws running along the walls beside him and the ceiling above him made him speed up his pace. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIt seemed like several hours had passed since Jaehyun had entered the hallway, hands finally gripping the doorknob of their bedroom. Just as he was about to turn it to enter, he heard a crash from behind him in the living room. Once again, the male leapt out of his shoes and successfully landed in them again, whipping around to strain his eyes in an attempt to see anything through the darkness surrounding him. As his head bobbed slowly, the door crept open before hands grabbed at his waist and snatched him inside; the door instantly slammed with a loud _bang!_ He had dropped his phone outside. He was trapped in the complete darkness with this being. There were screams and pleas sounding from Jaehyun, at whomever had captured him, not to kill him. ❝ I'm just here for my boyfriend, please! ❞ he screamed, hands raised in defense, yet his eyes closed. He opened one lid, not seeing anything but feeling that previous daunting presence in the room with him. It caused the male to shrink into himself, the energy being so dark and heavy that it was suffocating him. ❝ Pathetic, ❞ Johnny’s voice began to speak. ❝ Stop fucking crying, you pussy, ❞ it spoke again, the words sending a pang of hurt into his heart. ❝ God, you're always crying. Grow up. I’m so tired of hearing you cry every damn night. ❞ He cries every night? Tears brimmed his lids, the male blinking them away, wetting his lashes. ❝ Fight back! ❞ Johnny’s voice roared at him, the bass in his voice shaking the very room in which they stood. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThat’s when the voice shifted, growing deeper and more demonic. It sounded as if multiple voices were speaking at once. A solid figure suddenly appeared in the corner, about the same height and build as Johnny. He could tell it was looking at him by how the silhouette looked in the darkness. There were no outlines of his side profile; no indication of a nose or a mouth, not even forehead or hair. What Jaehyun saw were the curvatures of the being’s broad shoulders, with a tinge of what the ears were like. He could tell that the being was still trying to portray itself as his lover. It didn’t have to outwardly say that it wasn’t Johnny, he knew in his gut. Although, what was said next was like a dagger to his heart. ❝ You’re so pathetic. I don't know why I even agreed to date you, even as a dare. Worst decision of my life. ❞ That hurt. The younger's heart dropped, physically feeling it retreat into his stomach, causing bile to build up in his mouth. He felt like he was going to throw up. The tears that were once blinked away were now back, Jaehyun trying his hardest to stay level-headed. But, as level-headed as he wanted to be, the younger male couldn’t stop the floodgate from breaking and allowing the tears to stream down his cheeks briefly. He was in a nightmare now, he knew it. He and Johnny had been dating for two years, there's no way someone could commit to a dare that long . . . right? ❝ You’re not my Johnny, ❞ Jaehyun’s voice was strong now, his tears dried up and no longer falling. He knew it was all a lie, and that he shouldn’t be crying over it. A wide grin stretched across the being's face, body twitching as it began to morph, growing taller and thinner. He felt petrified now; the very feeling of being watched but not being able to fully see what was watching him caused the contents of his stomach to exit abruptly, the male bending over slightly and letting it all out. That’s when all the bile simply slid off of whatever was in front of him.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIt was now that Jaehyun stepped backwards towards the door before turning and sprinting out of the room. His legs carried him faster than they ever had before, him trying to focus on the fact that he needed to get the hell out of there, rather than the fact that something was chasing him. The harsh footsteps echoed behind him, Jaehyun trying his best to push himself even faster. It sounded like the thing was right on his heels, but just far enough away to tease him with the possibility of escape. Now, facedown on the hardwood flooring, Jaehyun felt blood begin to trickle out of his nostrils, head ringing from the banging it experienced from the sudden fall. His vision was spotty, eyes glazed over, and all he saw now was stars and static. Something had ripped his feet right from under him and it was no surprise that it was the being posed as Johnny Suh. ❝ I’ve got you, Jaehyun. I’ve got you. ❞ The menacing voice began to turn into a soothing and familiar one, the male squeezing his eyes tightly before he mustered up the courage to open them and stare the creature straight in the eyes. The creature had the voice of his lover, but the aspect of a mutilated, bloodied human figure. He knew that the creature had skin hanging from his body, there being bloodied holes where the skin slid from and it just being covered with counts of oily looking blood. He could feel skin dripping off of the being and onto his own body, a chunk falling from its face to his. Though he could see nothing with his physical eyes, it was as if the being had placed the image of itself into his mind, Jaehyun wanting to scream and cry at the sight. It was darker than pitch black, the terrified male being able to see nothing but the glowing red eyes and the painfully bright white smile it shined down on him. He shut his eyes quickly, though it did no good. The creature simply burned the full image of it into Jaehyun’s lids, giving a menacing laugh in the process. He was too afraid; the being was sitting on his chest, razor sharp claws dug into his sides, the very tips of said claws dangerously close to piercing his major organs. He was going to die here. He knew it. Lip quivering in fear, Jaehyun opened his mouth to plead for his life, instantly choking on a thick black substance that swiftly emitted from the creature's mouth before he could even think. His eyes shot open, grabbing for his throat as he gasped and gagged for air. His surroundings were different now, that of his bathroom. He was still in his bath, the water just as heated as it was when he first got in, which indicated that he hadn't been in for too long. The nightmare seemed like it stretched for hours, but he was sure he had just closed his eyes to blink.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤJohnny heard the male choking, thinking he had fallen asleep in the bath and begun to drown, which caused him to rush in, concerned. The elder raised his brows at Jaehyun in a questioning manner. ❝ I choked on my spit, ❞ the male lied. ❝ Sorry. ❞ He gave Johnny a sheepish grin, earning a head shake from his boyfriend, whom had come over to playfully push his head under the water. Jaehyun slapped his wrist in result, coming up and glaring at him. ❝ And now you drowned like I thought you did, ❞ Johnny huffed out, crouching down to place a kiss to the younger's forehead. He took it upon himself to lather shampoo into his hands, running it through the male's hair and lightly scratching his scalp. It was something Johnny did for Jaehyun every now and then when he wasn't feeling his best after his traumatizing nightmares. The two sat in silence, Jaehyun lathering up his towel and washing himself after Johnny rinsed his hair for him. ❝ Thank you, ❞ Jaehyun muttered, breaking the silence, earning a soft kiss on the lips from his boyfriend. The tall male walked out of the bathroom and back into their bedroom to finish making the bed, this way the two of them could sleep when the younger returned from his bath. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤJohnny hated these nights in all honesty, he hated the way the dream affected his lover and left him in a state where he could hardly care for himself. If anyone were to ask Johnny, he would honestly tell them he would rather die than to have Jaehyun experience anything as paralyzing as a realistic nightmare ever again. He wanted nothing more for his boyfriend than for him to live a happy life and only dream of good things from here on out. He hated the nights when Jaehyun woke him up, a blood curdling scream ripping from his throat, tears streaming down his face as he tried to claw his way back to reality. Some nights, it took a sum of fifteen to twenty minutes to calm the male down, Jaehyun coming out of his terrorized haze with cloudy, red eyes and a deteriorated mindset for the night. Those nights — much like this one — reduced Jaehyun to wetting himself and needing assistance in bathing. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤFeet padded softly along the floor, slender frame carrying an arms’ load of cover to the bedroom to begin to tidy the bed after the wet spot had dried from being deep cleaned. The only noises that echoed off of the walls were the sounds of Jaehyun splashing around in his water like a child. Johnny found it cute that his lover was still a child at heart sometimes, loving when he didn’t put up a fight when he wanted to share a bubble bath with him, simply resting against Johnny’s chest and playing with the bubbles, dimples etched into his cheeks as his smile never faltered. It was no secret that Johnny loved his boyfriend; he showed it every day in every way he could. ❝ Johnny, did our relationship start over a dare? ❞ The draining of the water signaled that his boyfriend was now done with his bath. With a towel wrapped around his body, Jaehyun ran his fingers through his damp hair, pushing it back out of his face. Johnny looked at him wide eyed, stumbling over his words with a look of confusion plastered all over his face. Jaehyun couldn’t get that part out of his mind. He had to clear it up for himself. ❝ What? Wh-Why would you ask me that? ❞ Jaehyun leaned around the door frame, towel being secured around his waist once more before letting out a harsh sigh. ❝ My nightmare . . . ❞ Jaehyun started, nose scrunching slightly as he felt a sting in his eyes. ❝ Was it? Can you just — Can you deny it for me? Even if it was, can you just . . . please deny it. ❞ As Jaehyun’s voice wavered, there was a sudden jump in the elder’s heart as it rose into his throat before falling into the acidic pits of his stomach. He was confused as to one thing. ❝ No, Jaehyun, ❞ Johnny spoke. ❝ It wasn’t a dare. ❞ The younger simply nodded before making his way into the room further, going through his drawer to grab a pair of boxers and slipping them on under the towel, before removing the towel from his body. 

**Who told him?**

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIt was true. It had started as a dare for Johnny; his friend Ten had dared him to ask out the underclassman just to mess with him. Though it was a dare, Johnny had genuine feelings for Jaehyun that only grew as they spent more time together. The plan had backfired on Ten, much to his dismay. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤAs the two cuddled up to each other in an attempt to go back to sleep, there was a sharp pang of guilt settling into Johnny’s heart. Did Jaehyun already know? Did his insecure subconscious conjure up the idea during his nightmare, leaving the male to cling to it? He had to know, but he didn’t want to draw attention and suspicion to it, so he chose to stay silent on the matter instead. As Jaehyun drew closer to the elder for warmth, said elder pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and wrapped his arms around the younger, eyes closing, yet the thought clawed at his brain. If he told him, it would be ugly for the two of them . . . and he didn’t want that. Not one bit. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _It was Jaehyun’s freshman year of college, the young man being uber excited to finally be out on his own, relatively, and experience the start of his young adult life. He was finally able to live life the way he wanted without the input of his parents — give or take. Of course, he still had to abide by certain rules they set for him, but he was at free will to do whatever else he pleased, so long as he didn’t end up in trouble with either the school or the law._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _Jaehyun didn’t know many people at the school, having known Taeyong and Yuta from high school. Yuta was a foreign exchange student that had a minimal understanding of the Korean language, in which Jaehyun offered his assistance, along with his older friend, Taeyong. Due to that, the three became close and remained friends throughout the next few years. At the end of the elders’ junior year, Yuta spoke to his parents and convinced them to let him stay in Korea for the rest of his schooling because he had taken a liking there. It had now been close to two years since the male had stayed, but he went home to his family every summer to spend time with them before the next school year started._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _The two males had greeted their younger friend as he settled into his dorm, taking him into their embrace and smothering him with kisses. He was basically their little brother at this point and they weren't afraid to show affection towards him in public. Once they helped him unpack his single-bed dorm room and set up everything, they decided to take him out and show him around the university so that he wouldn’t be so clueless once classes started the next week. They showed him to each one of the buildings his classes were in then took him around the hangouts to familiarize him with them for when they wanted to hang out but couldn’t meet up immediately to walk together. Jaehyun was undoubtedly very grateful for the two._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _Months had passed, Jaehyun now settled into Taeyong and Yuta’s friend group comfortably. There were a total of nine boys; Taeil, Johnny, Taeyong, Yuta, Doyoung, Kun, Ten, Sicheng (or WINWIN as they called him), and Jaehyun himself. Despite being busy college students, they always found time to hang out with one another and either party or study together._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _Taeil, he was currently a law major, but he was in the process of switching his major to music. He found that there was no joy for him in becoming a lawyer, it being something that his parents wanted him to be. Johnny was also a law major, but according to him, he enjoyed his major. He had switched around already and finally settled on something he liked. He was introduced to the group by Taeil. Both Taeyong and Kun were also music majors, both wanting to produce more than anything. Taeyong had introduced Kun and Taeil to Yuta, Taeil introducing Johnny. Yuta was an ethics and communications major for now. He just liked it, ethics being something he was passionate about, communications . . . well just because. Doyoung was also a law major. He liked arguing with people and often won even though he was in the wrong. He was cute, so he used it to his advantage. Everyone thought he’d make a great lawyer, and he did, too. Taeil and Johnny introduced him to the group. Ten and Sicheng were both dance majors, both being classically trained before even applying to college. They were introduced by Taeyong, who also enjoyed dance from time to time. The three had been in training classes together at one point in time._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _And then there was Jaehyun. He was in school to become an actor. He was the star in every play during his entire high school career, often branching out to theatre houses in his town to act in. Everyone thought he was wonderful. He had a lot of pride in his acting, but coming to college made him realize that he wasn’t the best of his class. It made him question himself, but he wouldn’t give up._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _Johnny was a junior around the time Jaehyun was a freshman. The two had bonded over the fact that both of them spoke English due to their times in the United States, Johnny being born and raised there up until the age of twelve. It was then that he moved here with his parents and attended schooling with Taeil and Taeyong, though the three didn’t really hang out until freshman year of college. Jaehyun had lived in America for a few years at a young age, taking in the language and primarily using it, aside from at home with his parents. Now that he had mostly spoken Korean, he had forgotten quite a bit of the English language, but Johnny helped him with it for the most part._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _The younger could feel his feelings for the elder start to shift into something more romantic the more time they spent together, being too afraid to say anything because he was afraid of rejection. Little did he know, Johnny felt the same way, though he would never admit it if asked about it. That’s how the dare came about._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _Ten was quite fond of Johnny, wanting him to himself, but for some reason he thought that making Johnny ask Jaehyun out in a dare would give them some sort of bond. ❝ Suh, ❞ the younger male started, resting his hand on the older male’s arm, ❝ do you have feelings for Jaehyun? ❞ Johnny narrowed his brows and shrugged off Ten's hand with a shake of his head. Why would he ask him that? Was he that obvious with his feelings? ❝ No. ❞ The male shook his head again. ❝ Why do you ask? ❞ Ten tapped his finger against his bottom lip, a smile spreading across his face. ❝ I have a cute little dare for you, ❞ he chuckled, tucking his bottom lip in between his pretty teeth before humming out. Johnny was nervous to hear what was to come next, even though he had already pieced everything together. He dreaded this next phrase. ❝ I dare you to ask him out. ❞ Johnny stayed silent. ❝ Toy with his heart, make him fall in love with you. Then break his heart. ❞ Who knew such a pretty boy could have such an ugly heart?_

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _It was their first date. Johnny had gotten all dressed up to take the male to dinner, wanting to focus on him and get to know him better. Smiles, giggles, and shy glances were exchanged throughout the entirety of the night. Johnny walked him back to his dorm, making sure he got in safely. His heart fluttered that night._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _Their third date was at a carnival. The two played a multitude of games to try to win the other some sort of stuffed animal, Jaehyun being the first to win Johnny something due to the basketball game. It was a giant black teddy bear with white fuzz covering every inch of the black, giving it a panda-like appearance in some areas. Opposed to his giant gift, Johnny was only able to win Jaehyun a medium sized Charmander stuffie. Charmander was Jaehyun’s favorite Pokémon, something the two had discussed in one of their earliest conversations back when they first met. It was one of their most fun dates according to Jaehyun. It was when the two were able to fully relax and be themselves instead of trying to impress the other. From being covered in powdered sugar from the funnel cakes to having to wipe away grease from the other’s mouth from their giant turkey legs. It was when they shared their first kiss. First held hands. First entertained the thought of possibly dating._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _Their fifth date was when they both popped the question at the same time, laughing at themselves before nodding and making it official. For a while, they kept it a secret because they wanted to make sure this thing was for certain before telling their group of friends. Once they did, Jaehyun noticed the smirk on Ten’s face, but didn’t think much of it. Johnny didn’t like it one bit, but he was happy with his boyfriend._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _The dare had just given him the confidence to do what he wanted to do anyway. He wasn’t going to break him._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThe mentions of the dare rang in his brain constantly, feeling him up with nothing but burning guilt. It felt as if it was beginning to eat away at him from the inside. He had grown visibly sick, not sleeping or eating well anymore the more he tried to hold it in.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤIt had been about two weeks of the male not being able to sleep or eat — two weeks since Jaehyun asked him that fatal question and brought back the memory he tried so hard to suppress. Every time the male closed his eyes, images of his fight with Ten plagued his mind. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _The two were alone. It had been a sum of six months since Johnny had made things official with Jaehyun, Ten demanding that it was time for him to break things off with him now._ ** _Insisting_** _that he do it in front of him. But Johnny refused. ❝ He’s really got your fingers wrapped around that pretty cock of his, doesn’t he? ❞ Ten taunted, a harsh finger shoving Johnny’s chest. The shorter shook his head, a laugh sounding from his lips. ❝ If you don’t tell him, I will. ❞_

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ _And that’s when Johnny lied and said Ten came onto him so that Jaehyun would have no choice but to distance himself, possibly even hate his elder. That way, if Ten ever said anything, it would seem like an act of jealousy._

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤBile built up in Johnny’s chest, spilling from his lips before he could even move towards the bathroom. The lie had made him physically sick now. There were dark circles underneath his eyes, sweat pooling from underneath his skin. He smelled horrible. He hadn’t had the strength to even hold himself upright after vomiting. There was bile covering the floor and covers of his side of the bed and room. Jaehyun was away at class. The male wanted to clean everything up before his lover returned home, but he fell asleep.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤHe woke up, drenched in his own sweat, by the sound of the door closing and Jaehyun’s voice calling out to him. It took him a few seconds to register what was going on around him, the light blinding him and causing a headache. It was when Jaehyun stood inside their shared bedroom that his eyes faltered again. ❝ Ah, my poor baby, ❞ Jaehyun’s deep voice cooed out, his nose scrunching slightly at the sight of the vomit. ❝ You’re sick. Let me draw you a bath. ❞ Now it was Johnny being taken care of, bathed and having the room cleaned after him. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤUpon getting his boyfriend out of his bath, Jaehyun pressed his hand to his forehead, then to his neck. If he were to get any worse, he would have to take the male to the hospital. Jaehyun carefully dried his body off and clothed him, pressing a kiss to his forehead as he helped him back into bed. ❝ Are you hungry? Do you want soup? ❞ Johnny was about to shake his head _no_ when his stomach rumbled and answered for him. The younger let out an angelic chuckle before making his way into the kitchen to warm some leftover soup. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThe night was then spent with Jaehyun juggling nursing his boyfriend and finishing up his homework . . . and attempting Johnny’s. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤBy the weekend, Johnny was feeling and looking better, but his heart was still just as heavy. He waited until the two were alone and free of classes to break the news to him. His palms were sweaty, eyes avoiding the male that sat across the room from him. He wanted to keep his distance because he knew he would chicken out if he were any closer to Jaehyun. He knew he would want to simply hold him and tell him he loved him, claiming that was the important thing he needed to tell him. Though, that wouldn’t be too far off. See, despite having dated for two years now, the pair hadn’t said _‘I love you_ ’ yet. They wanted to say those special words for when they really felt as if they loved each other and not just because it was a phrase being thrown around a lot lately by week-old couples. Truth is, Johnny did love Jaehyun; he loved him with all of his heart and he’s been wanting to tell him for quite some time now, but he didn’t want to say it first. He didn’t want to say it and have Jaehyun feel pressured about saying it back. Little did he know, Jaehyun felt the same way. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤRubbing his palms along his dark washed jeans, Johnny exhaled softly as he finally met the gaze of his loving boyfriend. He didn’t say anything, just smiled, not wanting to see the pretty face of the younger distort and change from the expression of love to hate. He wasn’t ready for that yet. ❝ Johnny, ❞ Jaehyun’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. ❝ What is it? ❞ Inching himself closer to his boyfriend, Johnny tucked his bottom lip in between his teeth before bringing his hand up to caress his cheek, thumb running along his bottom lip. He leaned in, leaving a chaste kiss at the younger’s lips before nodding to himself. ❝ I love you, Jaehyun. ❞ He had failed himself, chickening out as soon as he moved closer. He didn’t want this to happen, but it did. He wanted to tell him the truth of the dare, but only telling the truth of his feelings for him. At least he got one truth, right?

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤJaehyun was taken aback for a second, hands dropping to Johnny’s knees to hold him in place. He had said it. He had finally told him he loved him . . . but Jaehyun wanted to be the first to say it. With a slap against Johnny’s knee, Jaehyun huffed. ❝ I wanted to say it first, ❞ he joked, smile spreading across his face, dimples creating craters in his cheeks. ❝ I’m not gonna say it now, you have to wait for yours, ❞ he joked once again, kissing him softly only to solidify his love for him. But he wasn’t going to say it. Not yet. Though, deep down, Johnny knew he loved him. He could feel it. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤAnother week went by without Johnny saying anything to Jaehyun about the dare, and it began to eat away at his insides again. Despite being nursed back to health a week prior, he was sick again. He couldn’t hold anything down, for it was entirely too painful to eat. It was the universe punishing him for keeping this lie for so long. Not to mention, their anniversary was coming up soon. Telling him now would ruin it. He would wait until after.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤAnd so he did. Their anniversary was filled with high priced matching rings and an expensive dinner on Johnny’s part. Jaehyun bought the rings and Johnny had done everything else. From dinner to a hotel date to surprise tickets to Jaehyun’s favorite artist, the two enjoyed their night. It was perfect. Back at their hotel, the two had an intimate night. Loud. Hotel management had to be called to get them to stop. It was embarrassing for a moment, but funny the next. And when they went home the the next day, Johnny couldn’t put it off any longer. The long drive gave him much time to think. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❝ Baby, ❞ Johnny inhaled causing the younger to turn on the stairs and look down at him, ❝ it — it was a dare. ❞ Jaehyun’s heart dropped. He didn’t want to know. He begged him to tell him no even if it were true. ❝ I can’t keep it in anymore. I’ve not been able to sleep since the night you asked me. It’s eating away at me, and I can’t take it anymore. I’m so sorry. ❞ He was in tears. Who? Both of them. Jaehyun more from anger of being told rather than it actually being a dare, and Johnny from the immense weight of guilt that had suddenly been lifted off of his shoulders. Jaehyun simply balled his fists and nodded, walking into their home. Johnny followed suit, tripping over his own feet from being blinded by his tears. ❝ I didn’t want to know, ❞ Jaehyun told him sternly, his voice dropping a few octaves lower than what it usually was. ❝ I told you to tell me no even if it was. ❞ Johnny reached for a balled fist, the younger ripping away from him and turning to face him. ❝ I specifically told you not to. ❞ Johnny opened his mouth, choked up on both tears and confusion. ❝ I needed to — I needed to get it off of my chest? ❞ That’s when Jaehyun yelled at him. The male had never raised his voice at him before. ❝ I said no! I was happy with not knowing! ❞ The once loving face of his boyfriend shifted to what Johnny feared: hatred. Taking a step back, the taller stared down at him, using the sleeves of his shirt to wipe away his tears. ❝ So you would’ve rather me be sick from guilt than to know the truth? ❞ There was a ‘tch’ sound from Jaehyun. ❝ Yes. You ruined my happiness. ❞ 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThere was a slam against Johnny’s chest, sending him back a few centimeters before he caught his footing. Jaehyun was staring up at him with a flood of tears streaming down his cheeks, his palms slapping against his chest. ❝ I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, ❞ the younger cried, voice becoming weaker with each word. ❝ I love you, ❞ Johnny countered. He attempted to pull the male into his embrace, but Jaehyun pushed him away. ❝ It was a dare, but baby, I had genuine feelings for you way before Ten asked me to do it. I was just too— ❞ The crying stopped. ❝ Ten?! The same guy that fucking hit on you when we first started dating?! The guy I considered my fucking FRIEND?! ❞ Right. He forgot about that lie. ❝ He — ❞ Johnny exhaled. ❝ He didn’t hit on me . . . at least not while you and I were together. He wanted me to follow through with breaking your heart and breaking up with you. I couldn’t — I didn’t want to do it. I had fallen for you and God, I finally had you. I wanted to keep us. Savor us. He threatened to tell you about the dare. I was selfish and didn’t want you to know so I.. ❞ He trailed off. Jaehyun was so far from him now that it seemed like they were complete strangers. ❝ You what?! ❞ Johnny flinched at him raising his voice again. ❝ I lied. I was scared of losing you. ❞ Jaehyun nodded, letting out a harsh chuckle. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❝ I hate you. ❞ Johnny shook his head, a fresh set of tears welling in his eyes as he moved towards Jaehyun again, only for the younger to back away again in result. ❝ Baby, don’t say that. Please. ❞ An intense expression of anger washed over Jaehyun’s face, fists clenching tighter than before and nails digging into his palms deep enough to draw blood. ❝ I wish you were dead, ❞ Jaehyun blurted out. There was suddenly a weight settling onto Jaehyun’s shoulders as the phrase left his lips, something dark happily engulfing him as Johnny felt something shift inside of him. He felt sick again, but why? He told the truth. He stumbled back, taken aback by the male’s words, and shook his head. ❝ You don’t mean that… ❞ _I don’t._ ❝ Yes, I do. Get the fuck out of my house. ❞

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❝ Baby, ❞ Johnny whined out, tears falling rapidly, only to be wiped away just as quickly as they fell. ❝ Get out. Now. ❞ Cheeks stained with a trail of both dried and fresh tears, Johnny stood his ground. ❝ We can work this out, Jaehyun. P-Please, ❞ he choked out, his chest seeming to tighten at the thought of losing his boyfriend for good. With a tilt of his head, Jaehyun pushed Johnny out of the way and headed towards the door. ❝ Don’t be here when I come back. Or else. We’re not together anymore, pack your shit and leave. ❞ And with that, he slammed the door, storming out and practically flying down the flight of stairs. Inside the home, Johnny had dropped to his knees at the very moment the door slammed, now being left with his tears and sorrow. He couldn’t help but to cry out loudly, wailing to let all of his emotions out. The apartment felt cold now. It quickly lacked the love it once held and was replaced with the cold, bitter sting of hate. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤMark Lee. He was a sophomore Jaehyun had taken a liking to during his senior year of college, the two being on the basketball team together for a few years. See, Jaehyun had been the star of the basketball team his high school career, sparking interest during his freshman and sophomore years himself. He had gradually worked his way up to captain at the beginning of his junior year which, ran throughout his graduation date. Mark was a weird little freshman on the team, but Jaehyun had seen much of himself in the younger. That’s why he helped him, coached him to become better with the way he played, drilling harder once the other had begun to show potential. Though it was only high school basketball, Jaehyun still took it seriously, in case his acting never worked out. There were only two things he excelled at: acting and basketball. He was average with everything else, being just smart enough to pass his classes. Pretty boy, dumb brain, some people said. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThe two boys had kept their friendship intact even after Jaehyun graduated and went off to college, him going back every now and then to see the younger’s basketball games. He was proud of him and how far the scrawny little freshman had come by his senior year of high school. He remembered Mark telling him that after he graduated, he was able to get the captain’s position and his friend had gotten co-captain. When it was time for Mark’s graduation, Jaehyun was there for him, cheering him on as he walked across the stage, then telling everyone about how proud he was of his little friend. Everyone remembered Jaehyun, flocking to him to catch up, but he was more concerned about Mark. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤFreshman year of college was hectic for Mark despite him being quite smart. It was a different level of education, something high school didn’t really prepare him for. The two hung out occasionally, but not as much as they would’ve liked to, given going to the same college. Jaehyun had given him the same treatment his elders had given him his freshman year; showed him around campus and introduced him to his friend group, to his boyfriend. His now _ex-_ boyfriend. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❝ What do you mean you told him you wished he were dead, ❞ Mark’s girlfriend, Millie shouted, throwing her hands up in frustration. ❝ That’s literally the worst thing you can tell someone. ❞ She continued to scold him, her finger shaking as if she were an old lady scolding a young child — that’s what it felt like. Mark nodded in agreement, his sad eyes focused on his long-term friend. ❝ She’s right. Like, dude, you can’t just throw that out there and be fine with it. Think of how Johnny was feeling before even telling you. Like, he said he was physically sick over it. You even said he had gotten sick back to back since you mentioned it. Dude, that’s foul. ❞ Jaehyun knew all of this, instantly feeling guilty about it the moment it left his lips. He didn’t mean it at all; he wasn’t even sure why he had said it in the first place. With a sigh, Jaehyun leaned back in the café chair, throwing his head back with a slight groan. ❝ I know. I didn’t mean it, it just happened. I feel terrible. You should’ve seen the look he gave me after I said it. ❞ Jaehyun’s eyes were cloudy at this point, tears brimming his tear ducts and threatening to spill. Scrunching her nose, Millie patted Jaehyun’s hand before standing up. ❝ Apologize. It’s not gonna take back what you said, but at least he’ll know you didn’t mean it. ❞ With that, she leaned down to kiss Mark’s cheek, telling him that she had to go back to into town to pick up her prom dress . . . then proceeded to tell him not to forget his tux. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤJaehyun liked her. She was vocal and seemed strong willed from their brief encounter. The boys each exchanged a bye to the young lady before she left, waving to them on her way out. ❝ Prom, huh? ❞ Jaehyun teased, wiping away the tears that had briefly flowed down his face. ❝ Don’t change the subject, dude, but yes. Prom. It’s about a week after her birthday and I can’t decide if I want to do a birthday thing for her or wait until prom weekend to do everything. ❞ Taking a sip of his coffee, Jaehyun wiggled his nose slightly. ❝ Do her birthday stuff first then just do something prom weekend as well, ❞ He told him, setting the cup down. ❝ Do you already have special plans for her birthday? ❞ Mark nodded, a grin spreading across his face immediately. ❝ I have an idea of what I want to do for her, but I’m gonna need help setting up. ❞ Deciding to be funny and cause a scene, Jaehyun put his hand over his mouth and shouted, shooting up out of his seat. ❝ Yes! Yes, Mark! I will help you. ❞ Before the confused looks were thrown their way, Mark yanked his elder back down into his seat and covered his face, the very tips of his ears turning red from embarrassment. ❝ You're so annoying, ❞ the younger whined, removing his hands to reveal his tomato red face. Jaehyun patted his head in response. ❝ I’m your hyung, I’m meant to embarrass you. ❞ Jaehyun gave him a kissy face, eyes lighting up in amusement at the situation. ❝ Go apologize, I’m sure Johnny-hyung is still home. Let me know how it goes. ❞ Jaehyun nodded, heart sinking mid-rise. He dreaded going back to that apartment, in fear of seeing Johnny actually gone. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤEmptiness. That’s what he was met with when he opened the front door. Not the physical appearance, but the atmosphere the dreadfully cold apartment gave off. He was gone. A fresh set of tears brimmed his bottom lids as he slammed the door and rushed through the house, desperately in search of his boyfriend. His side of the room was partly empty. His toothbrush was gone. His socks. His everyday shoes. _He_ _was gone._ It hurt to see. The individual dropped to his knees, letting everything out; there was screaming and crying and pleading to whomever was listening to bring his boyfriend back. There were texts and avoided phone calls to Johnny. Each call was met with a dial tone, he had blocked his number. Rightfully so, but that’s not what Jaehyun wanted. He didn’t think he’d block him. The male had fallen asleep in the closet amidst his breakdown.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤHe woke up in bed, confused as to how but he knew it had to have been Johnny. A smile plastered itself on his face as he rolled over, hoping to see the blissful, sleeping face of his boyfriend. He wasn’t there. His smile dropped. Ex-boyfriend. The smell of food wafted through the house, the male furrowing his brows as he sat up and pushed the covers back. He was wearing pajamas now? Johnny. Boyfriend. As he shuffled towards the kitchen, his hopes seemed to do jumping jacks now, not wanting to get too high, but also having hope he was there. He wasn’t. What stood in his place? A plate of breakfast and a note. _I’ve cleared my things out. I think it’s best we give each other space now, I’m sorry for what I’ve done._ What have you done? _Here’s breakfast, I know you hate eating early in the morning, but this was the last time I’d be able to cook for you. I love you, Jaehyun. I always will. I’m sorry._ I’m sorry! Please come back. Breakfast was sad. He cried while eating Johnny’s food then climbed back into bed. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤThe next few weeks have been horrible for the both of them, both being plagued with lack of sleep, and nightmares when they did sleep. Both had dropped entirely too much weight for it to have only been two weeks since their breakup. Both haven’t eaten a thing nor hung out with their friends. They just barely went to class and did homework. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤGoing to class, Johnny suddenly dropped, not making a sound. He was tired. He was hungry. He was sad. Head hit the concrete as he fell, body going into a seizure. He was rushed to the hospital so that the nurses could keep an eye on him and make sure he didn’t have a concussion. Jaehyun’s wish was taking a toll on his body. A wish the younger hadn’t denounced yet. Sunken eyes closed, the male falling into a period of sleep though he wasn’t supposed to. He was woken up almost immediately. Apparently, the small fall had somehow caused bleeding of the brain. The doctor was concerned because the fall wasn’t high enough to cause that amount of damage.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤWith Jaehyun being his emergency contact in Korea due to his parents moving back to the United States after he joined college, the male had gotten the call about his boyfriend. ❝ We have a mister Johnny Suh here at the hospital. Would you mind coming in to brief his condition? ❞ And he was there, skinny frame clad in oversized clothing, hair in a tousled mess atop his head. As he spoke with the doctor, he couldn’t help but to think it was all his fault. He knew it was. Johnny wouldn’t have been this ill to the point of passing out on a walk to class if he hadn’t reacted and said the things he did. It was his fault. But he didn’t think to deject the wish. He didn’t think it that severe that the universe . . . or something . . . would actually grant the sick and twisted wish. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤHe stood in the doorway, hands shoved into his pockets and picking at the threading. He didn’t say a word, only tearing up as he took in sight of the once healthy man. He took in the way his full cheeks were no longer there, replaced with a skeletal lining. The way his eyes were sunken into his head upset him. He took in the amount of weight he had dropped, his stomach dropping instantly. That’s when he felt the presence of the being, not being able to see it, but he could feel it. It was sitting right there on Johnny’s chest, head cocked and staring right at Jaehyun with the same menacing smile that was forever carved into his inner eyelids. It was enjoying this game. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤHe walked over, sitting in the chair beside the bed, and held his hand. He was just as quiet as he was when he stood in the door frame. He didn’t know what to say to him at this point. He had already said so much to him. So much to make him end up this way. Johnny’s hand flexed in his, snatching away as he stared at the younger male with watery eyes. ❝ Why? ❞ Johnny croaked out, his perfect brows knitting. ❝ Leave me alone. Get — Get out. ❞ He choked up this time, tears spilling over now. He was emotional, but he had every right to be. ❝ We need space. I said get out. ❞ This time it was Jaehyun to stand his ground, lip quivering as his glistening brown eyes met with the other's. He shook his head. He didn’t want to leave him. ❝ I’m sorry, ❞ he whispered out. ❝ This is all my fault, ❞ he cried, head dropping to the bedside, wetness beginning to stain the sheets. _I take it back. I take it all back. Please just be alright. I love you. I take it back,_ he thought, but he never verbally said anything. _It’s too late,_ a voice rang in his mind, head shooting up to look around. It wasn’t Johnny’s voice. ❝ Come here. ❞ That was Johnny’s voice. He had slid over in his hospital bed and opened the covers for Jaehyun to slip in. Kicking off his shoes, the younger filled the gap and wrapped his arms around his ex-boyfriend. Johnny had his head lying on the other’s chest, listening to his irregular heartbeat. ❝ It’s okay, you can relax now. We will work things out when I get out, okay? ❞ Jaehyun nodded, holding him tightly and pressing a kiss to his forehead. _Too late._ ❝ No, please. I take it— ❞ Johnny's heartrate spiked, then dropped suddenly. Flatlined. He had just been fine? It all happened so quickly, Jaehyun in hysterics as the nurses shoved him and his shoes out of his room in attempt to save the young man.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❝ I take it back, please! I take it back! I — I renounce my wish! Please! ❞ He was on the ground at this point, body only being supported by the wall. With knees pulled to his chest, Jaehyun buried his face in his knees and cried. He cried with everything he had in him. 

He was dead. The person he was in love with was dead. 

Night One starts his nightmares again. He woke up in search of Johnny. He’s not there. 

Night Four. Another nightmare. Another reach for Johnny. He’s not there. 

Night Ten. Another nightmare. Another reach. Another finger graze of the cold, empty sheets.

Night Sixteen. Another nightmare occurred. He woke up screaming and crying this time. The bed feels colder than before. 

Night Twenty. Another nightmare. Bed feels warmer, but not from body heat. He wet himself again. 

Day Twenty-One. Funeral day. It was just as cold as those lonely nights. Jaehyun didn’t say a word. He didn’t shed a tear. He didn’t share any inkling of emotion. His heart was encapsulated in prickling ice. His eyes stared as the casket was being lowered into the ground, blinking only once.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤAnd with the lowering of Johnny’s casket, Jaehyun woke up. Apparently he had been thrashing about in his sleep, the former deceased now staring down at him with worried eyes. He hated that look. He hated being viewed as helpless in these situations. He could very well handle himself — but he was glad to see his boyfriend alive. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤWith a small sigh, Jaehyun simply pulled his boyfriend down into his embrace and held him tightly, nose buried in his sweet-smelling hair, while his large hand ran along his arm. He didn’t say a word, simply relishing in the fact that he was here with him, brows dropping back into their comfortable position instead of being raised in both fear and anger; fear from the contents of his sickening dream that consisted of his lover dying in his arms and being forced to let him go. Fear from having to live out his days without his other half. Fear from the thought of losing him in reality. Anger. The anger was from the simple fact that Johnny looked at him like he was a delicate rose petal that needed to be handled with care and caution, or else he’d break and crumble away. He knew it came from an act of love, but he wanted him to treat him like the strong man he was. He could handle it. He knew he could. But he couldn’t be mad at him for being concerned. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❝ I love you, Johnny, ❞ Jaehyun started out, pressing a kiss to the crown of the elder’s head. He needed to get it out, needed to tell him that he didn’t resent him from the dare. ❝ I don’t care that you asked me out on a dare. I don’t care at all. All I care about is that you’re here with me, in my arms, loving me with your entire heart. And I want you to know that I’m doing that same. ❞ He paused, taking a deep breath before pulling away from Johnny, their brown eyes now locked on one another. There was a pretty smile plastered on his boyfriend’s lips. He didn’t speak, just admired the way Johnny’s lips curled upwards, his whiskered dimples beginning to show, which told him that it was a genuine smile. Though Johnny was a couple years older than him, he noticed how he always had a boyish charm to him, his smile making him look like a little kid all over again. It was as if he never grew up. It was wide, stretching across his face from ear to ear, plump lips separated and showing his teeth. Now, Johnny didn’t have perfect, straight teeth, but that was what he loved most about his smile. He loved the way his teeth were perfect in their own way, some bigger than the other. It gave him character. What he loved most was the way his two front teeth were always the stars of the show, not as big as bunny teeth, but giving the effect with his smile. He loved the way his eyes tightened and smiled at him as well as his mouth. He was beautiful. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❝ God, I love you, ❞ Jaehyun finally whispered out, leaning down to press a delicate kiss upon the elder’s lips, closing his eyes as they touched. Though the kiss was brief, it shot electricity through his nerves, giving him a wonderful shock that was present the first time they kissed. He felt Johnny shift his weight, now hovering above him in an attempt to deepen the kiss, one hand holding him above the younger while the other cupped his face and thumb caressed his cheek. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❝ I’ve got you, ❞ Johnny muttered out, Jaehyun freezing in place. That voice. He knew that voice. There was a soft chuckle sounding from the body above him. There was a wretched ripping sound from the body, a pop of something warm and wet falling onto his face. The lips he was so close to kissing once more had fallen off, placing themselves directly atop of his own. He knew exactly what was above him. ❝I’ve got you, I’ve got you, I’ve got you, ❞ it cackled, Jaehyun opening his eyes to see the creature that had haunted his first nightmare. He couldn’t move; he was paralyzed with fear. Tears streamed down his cheeks, his insides screaming for him to wake up. He had kissed that — that thing! Bile began to build up in his throat, but he couldn’t release it. It simply got caught in his throat, choking him. His body thrashed underneath the monster though it just sat peacefully on his chest. He thought his body was moving, but with a flick of his eyes downwards, he was just as still as a plank. The monster stared him in the eyes, taking Johnny’s face now and grinning down at him with a terrifying smile. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❝ I’ve got you. And I’m not going anywhere, ❞ his sleep paralysis demon whispered and that’s when he woke up, bed empty and cold on his other half’s side. Oh. Right. He was gone. Dead a month now. He remembered now, they had been broken up when Johnny passed. Jaehyun just couldn’t bear the pain of knowing he only dated him out of a dare from Ten. He trusted them both, but he was just a joke to them. He never got a chance to tell Johnny he loved him before his passing, the elder leaving the earth before he could get it out. It came abruptly, the male just falling ill during a school day and being rushed to the hospital. No one could tell him what had happened, it was a strange anomaly. 

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤHis last words to Johnny were that he hated him and he never wanted to see him again. He told him he wished he were dead. He was to blame for Mr. and Mrs. Suh losing their son. It was true, he held him close as he was passing, but neither of them uttered a word. Jaehyun didn’t tell him that he would be okay, that he would make it out of it alive. He didn’t speak to him, only cried and held the elder as close as he could because he couldn’t lie to him. He knew he was dying, and he didn’t want to give Johnny false hope in his last moment of life. 


End file.
